2012 What, What?

When I was 14, my parents took my family on a vacation to Puerta Vallarta, Mexico.

This was probably one of my favorite vacations of all time (minus the sun poisoning).

It was on this vacation that I first learned of the Mayan prediction that the world would end in 2012.

My thoughts were: "I'll be 25 then, probably married and pregnant. What will I do to protect my unborn child!?"

There are so many things wrong with poor, sweet, naive Caton's thinking. She thought she was going to be happily married and knocked up by 25 and in some post-apocalyptic world where she'd need to carry on the human race or something.

I'd like to slap her into the reality that will be 25.

• Biotch, you'll be working your butt off teaching inner-city kids the stages of mitosis, and they won't give a shit.
• You'll be living in an apartment freezing your ass off in January because your landlord refuses to "get around to it" in a timely matter, and you're too much of a pushover to inconvenience him.
• You'll be popping birth control pills like its your job because having a kid would force you to think of someone other than yourself.

No, but seriously, that was mean. Please don't cry foolish, romantic Caton, you're still pretty awesome.

Here are some things you'll do instead of being pregnant and married in 2012:

• Travel to Europe to meet up with your sister for a week.
• Move to Boston.
• Get a new job at a charter school in Boston.
• Turn 25!
• Finish your book.

See, aren't you happy your prediction didn't come true? You are so much better off.

Yay 2012!